The real me

been feeling a little scared, anxious, depressed, well a whole conundrum of emotions. So many things float in my head, and decisions need to be made about them…so i decided to finally let the "real me" out a little bit. I don't do this to get sympathy…I do this as a form of letting my emotions out…so they don't continue to swirl inside me and burst out like a nasty explosion of emotions. Also helps me think i guess, I don't know….Lately I 've been wondering if I am truly friends with some of the people I'm friends with, or am I friends of friends that only put up with me because i'm friends with other people or whom I'm dating and such. I know its stupid to think about…but its a true fear of mine. I wasn't exactly popular in school and that has always stuck with me. So many times I "befriended" someone only for them to only be laughing behind my back or to find out they only  " put up with me" and weren't really interested in me being around. Even though I know such great people now…I hope that they will someday accept me…again I don't know…i feel like I'm rambling at this point. A lot has happened the last few months that have made me question my current situation and place in life and this is the only place I feel safe enough to let out my feeling without feeling like someone will just judge me for being a drama queen. I hope that perhaps this work will maybe relate and help someone else if they are feeling the same way as me, have a good day everyone